Agape Freedom Sports LLC

WRITTEN BY: JERIC YURKANIN

One of the biggest things I have learned over the years through coaching, being a T-Ball commissioner, attending league meetings, and now covering high school sports is this:

Sometimes adults ruin youth sports more than the kids ever do. Personally I can’t stand All-Stars or All conference or All state awards, it becomes more about self than team, a parents pride.

A few years ago, I remember being part of conversations in a youth league where a policy was voted on stating that if a kid missed a practice, they would not be eligible for All-Stars.

Think about that for a second.

We are talking about children.

Not Major League Baseball. Not Division I college athletics. Not professional sports.

Youth sports.

And honestly, what message are we teaching kids when making an All-Star team becomes more important than enjoying the game, learning teamwork, building confidence, and growing as a person?

Parents may have work. Families may have emergencies. Kids may miss a practice because life happens. Punishing a child by taking away an opportunity over that can sometimes push kids away from sports entirely before they even reach high school.

Then adults wonder why participation numbers continue dropping.

What should matter most at young ages is effort, attitude, sportsmanship, growth, being coachable, and learning how to be part of something bigger than yourself.

Instead, too often youth sports becomes about trophies, politics, rankings, and ego.

And if we are being honest, throughout history almost every community has seen the same pattern — coaches’ kids or league insiders almost always end up on All-Star teams. That does not mean every one of them did not deserve it, because many absolutely do. But people also know favoritism exists in sports at every level.

That is why awards like All-Star selections, All-Conference teams, and All-State honors are opinions.

Not facts.

Opinions.

This year, I created three different All-Conference teams for high school girls softball based on my own research, observations, conversations, consistency, impact, attitude, leadership, and what I personally value in a player.

And honestly, I was shocked by how many parents messaged me asking why their daughter was not selected, or why she made Second Team instead of First Team.

To me, that is part of the bigger problem.

What are we teaching young athletes if adults become upset over recognition lists?

Are we teaching them that awards matter more than character?

That recognition matters more than being a good teammate?

That status matters more than attitude, leadership, work ethic, and supporting others?

Because most coaches will tell you this:

Talent matters, but attitude matters too.

Being coachable matters.

Supporting teammates matters.

Handling adversity matters.

Character matters.

Every parent believes their son or daughter is an All-Star — until someone else has to make the selections.

That is sports.

There will never be a list that makes everybody happy.

But I will say this too:

My own son barely played on one of his teams recently in football and another sport this spring.

And honestly?

I did not care about playing time nearly as much as this:

Was he having fun?

Was he learning?

Was he being respectful to coaches?

Was he encouraging teammates?

Was he behaving properly?

Was he giving effort?

Did he leave practice smiling?

That is what matters to me.

Because years from now, most kids will not remember every trophy or award.

But they will remember whether sports made them feel encouraged or defeated.

They will remember coaches who believed in them.

They will remember teammates who supported them.

They will remember whether adults built confidence into them — or pressure.

Youth sports should develop people first and athletes second.

Some adults have forgotten that.

And honestly, moments like this make me question whether doing All-Conference teams is even worth it sometimes, because no matter how much work or research goes into it, some people only care when their own child benefits.

But maybe that conversation itself is exactly why this topic matters.

Because somewhere along the way, too many adults stopped asking:

“What is best for the kids?”

And started asking:

“Why wasn’t my kid picked?”

And honestly, I do not care what Division I school may be recruiting a player, because recruiting is also based on opinions and evaluations. Different coaches, scouts, media members, and evaluators all look for different things in athletes.

For example, I gave credit to players like Abbi Call and her family because I felt she earned recognition based on what I personally value in a player. I even placed her as a First Team first baseman instead of pitcher, despite how dominant she has been in the circle recently. I also selected Grace Munley as Third Team All-Conference based on my own evaluations.

That does not mean everyone has to agree with me.

That is the entire point.

Sports opinions are subjective.

In my eyes, I do not care who someone’s parents are, what travel team they play for, or what college may be recruiting them. I care about performance, attitude, leadership, teamwork, consistency, effort, and the overall impact they bring to a team.

And parents should also understand something important:

Sometimes the way adults react publicly can hurt their child more than help them.

College coaches notice behavior.

They notice attitude.

They notice how families carry themselves.

Talent may open the door, but character, humility, leadership, and maturity often determine how far an athlete goes once they get there.